Hard first, good later.

Have you ever climbed a really big hill? At the bottom, it looks easy. You start walking. Then halfway up, your legs start talking. They say, "Nope." Your breath goes huff, puff, huff, puff. Your face goes red like a tomato. You think, "Why did I do this?"

And then you get to the top. You turn around. And you can see everything. The houses look like toys. The cars look like ants. The wind blows on your hot face, and it feels amazing. You might even shout, "I did it!" You think, "Oh. That's why."

That's a hill. Hard at the start. Good at the end.

Here's something interesting. Lots of things in life are hills. They're hard first, and good later.

Practice is a hill. The first time you try a new song, it's hard. Or a new move. Or a new word. Your fingers get tangled. Your feet go the wrong way. But you keep climbing. And one day you can just do it, easy as anything. That's the view from the top.

Vegetables are a hill. Broccoli doesn't taste like cake. Not even a little bit. But broccoli helps your body grow strong. It gives you energy for running and climbing. So later, you feel great. That's the view.

Bedtime is a hill too. Going to bed when it's time is hard. There's always one more game. One more page. One more glass of water. One more really important question about sharks. But if you sleep, tomorrow you wake up full of beans. That's the view.

Now here's the funny part. Some things are hills upside down. They're good first, and hard later.

Candy is an upside-down hill. You start at the top. Yum! Sweet and sugary and wonderful. Then you slide straight down into a tummy ache. Staying up way too late is an upside-down hill too. It's fun at night. But in the morning, you're a grumpy monster who can't find your other shoe.

So when you have to pick, here's a little trick. Ask yourself, "Is this a hill, or an upside-down hill?" Then pick the hill first. Climb first. The view comes later.

What's something hard you did that felt good later?

Here's a grown-up secret. Sometimes I pick the upside-down hill too. I stay up late watching one more show. Then one more. The next morning, I'm a grumpy bear who can't find my socks. Then I think, "Oh right. Hard first, good later." And I go to bed on time that night.

Hard first doesn't mean fun things are bad. Candy isn't bad. Shows aren't bad. Treats are great! They just come second, after the climb. And it doesn't mean everything hard is good for you. If something hurts or scares you, that's not a hill. That's something to tell me about.

There's a very old story about an ant and a grasshopper. It was summer. The sun was hot, and the grass was tall. The grasshopper lay in the shade, playing his little violin. Twiddle-dee, twiddle-dum. He was having the best time.

Then the ant walked past. She was carrying a big seed on her back. It was bigger than her head. She was huffing and puffing.

"Why are you working so hard?" asked the grasshopper. "It's summer! Come and play!"

"I'm saving food for winter," said the ant. "In winter, there's nothing to eat."

The grasshopper laughed. "Winter is ages away!" Twiddle-dee, twiddle-dum. And he went back to playing.

All summer long, the ant carried seeds. All summer long, the grasshopper played. Then the leaves turned brown. The wind turned cold. And one morning, there was snow everywhere.

The grasshopper was freezing. His tummy was rumbling. He had nothing to eat. "Brrr," he said. "Maybe I should have carried a few seeds." He knocked on the ant's door with his little cold hand.

The ant opened the door. Inside it was warm and cozy. There were seeds stacked to the ceiling. The ant had climbed her hill all summer. Now she had the view.

The ant was kind. She let the grasshopper in and shared her seeds. And the next summer, the grasshopper did something new. He carried seeds in the morning, and he played his violin in the afternoon. Hard first, good later. That winter, he even played music for the ant.

That's what I want for you. When you're at the bottom of a hill, I hope you start climbing. Homework, practice, broccoli, bedtime. Huff, puff. It won't always be easy. But I'll be there climbing too. And the view from the top is always worth it.

Hard first, good later.

After reading

At dinner, ask him: "What's something hard you did that felt good later?" Go first with something small and true, like "I didn't want to go for a walk this morning. But afterwards I felt really good." If he's stuck, help him: "What about learning to ride your bike, or finishing your homework?" For the rest of the week, when he's choosing between something hard and something easy, ask: "Is this a hill, or an upside-down hill?" Let him pick, and say the kid line together when he climbs: "Hard first, good later." Treats still happen; they just come after.

What to watch for

The goal: he can do a hard thing first (homework, practice, getting ready for bed) and enjoy the good thing after.

• It's landing when he asks "Is this a hill?" about a choice on his own.
• It's landing when he does the hard bit first without a fight, and says how good it felt after.
• It's landing when he spots an upside-down hill ("Candy is an upside-down hill!").
• Careful: keep treats in his life. If he starts calling all fun "bad", bring it back: treats come second, not never.
• Careful: "hard" isn't "painful" or "scary". If something hurts him or frightens him, that's not a hill to push through; it's something to talk about.