About Notches

Letters from a father to his son, one lesson a week, from seven to twenty-one. Read aloud in about seven minutes. Here's how it works.

You're the one holding the reins.

Your wants are the horses: hungry, grumpy, wanting, scared. They pull hard, but they don't decide where you go. You do.

Be kind first.

Kindness isn't a prize you hand out after someone earns it. It's the opening move. Say hello first, share first, start first.

Smart people ask why.

Smart isn't knowing all the answers. It's noticing when something doesn't make sense and asking. Every big idea started as somebody's annoying question.

Move every day.

Your body gets stronger one step at a time. Run, climb, bike, dance. Ten minutes counts, and every day counts more.

Make something. Don't just watch something.

Watching is fine. Making is better. One small thing a day that wasn't there before.

Look before you let go.

An arrow can't come back once it leaves the bow. Words and choices work the same way. Stop, look, then let go.

The trying is yours. The score isn't.

Your kick is yours: how hard you practise, how carefully you aim. The goalie, the wind and the scoreboard are not. Do your best, then let the score go.

Talk to yourself like you'd talk to a friend.

There's a voice in your head that talks all day. When you miss the kick or spill the milk, it can be a bully or a friend. Let it be the friend.

Leave footprints worth following.

Everything you do leaves a footprint: what you say, what you laugh at, how you treat people. Other kids see them, and some will follow. Make yours worth following.

Share before you're asked.

When someone has to ask you to share, the sharing comes late. Offer first. It's the same snack, but it feels twice as good.

Every mistake is a brick.

Nobody is born knowing how to read, ride or tie a shoe. Every mistake is a brick, and your brain builds with them. A wall with no bricks is just air.

Body

Hard first, good later.

Some things are yucky at the start and great at the end: practice, vegetables, early bed. Candy is the other way round. Pick hard first.

Hands

Finish what you start.

A half-built thing can't do anything yet. The last bit is the hardest part, and it's also where it gets good. Finish it, then start the next one.

Chess

Not every fight is yours.

Some fights are worth having, and most aren't. Before you push back, ask if this one is really yours. Walking away can be the strong move.

Driver

Same face when you win and lose.

Watch the best players at the end of a game. You often can't tell from their face if they won. Winning and losing both come and go, and you stay you.